"ETCHED BY GRACE"

As I face the close of this year, I feel it compelling to share this incredible journey of going to the other side of the World......twice, in just 38 days apart from the other.

This letter is not just about me, but rather about how God used you to be one of the greatest and richest blessings in my life, as you were so much a part of my 2013. (You know who you are) Your gift produced much as you blessed me and also touched the two countries I traveled to, simply because you gave. 

I never considered myself a missionary, ever. 

I will not use the cliche’ about being on the field of missions that, “they changed me” though they did effect my life forever. India did not ‘change’ my life, nor did Nepal ‘change’ my life. It was the experience of having to take a hard look at myself while preparing and enduring the eight months 'waiting' once I committed in January to GO, that changed my life.  I had to take a deeper look at obedience toward my Redeemer. I had to completely and totally trust God in every single area, and swallow a whole lot of pride when it came to performance, in uncharted territory. God walked me through every single solitary step.

I told my Bible study group; I feel that the missionaries are not the ones going to the field, but rather we meet the missionaries when we get there. The truest and most faithful people I have ever met are in the most impoverished places, far on the other side of the World leading people to Christ almost daily. “This” missionary is not doing what they are doing, so therefore I feel that though I went to them, they actually led me to what is most important. The importance is people, near and far.

I will never forget the gesture of a somber beautiful woman dressed in a vibrant red sari, with a portion of the shawl covering her head as she was leaning over to sweep the dust from the solid ground. She realized that I was trying to capture her picture so she stopped and she stood up with a graceful pose and smiled with a slight tilt of her head. Then once I captured the shot, she placed her hand over her chest, as she nodded to thank me, for simply taking her picture. The language barrier has no boundaries with love and acceptance.

While in India, I was completely and totally captivated at the sights, around me. The poverty and the riches of spirit, caused a stirring in my heart. Amongst the dirt, the filth, the deficiency and the stanch smell that flows through the entire third world, it did not disgust me for some strange reason, but rather it moved me to tears of Joy that I could be right here, in this very moment.  It placed me in a bubble of ‘awe’. I was encompassed and smitten by every single sight. I was taken into a whole other realm, so much so that I never really noticed until I came home to America. I cried many times within, because of their lifestyle and their culture and most of all their lack. The only thing that mattered to me while I was there, was to touch the souls that I flew across the world to see, and to do my very best to assist and lead the 'team' the Lord put together. We were there to serve. It was an effortless job; we were unified. Five women of diverse lives, with one solid focus, Jesus. We were favorably protected and incredibly used in just 48 short hours of constant ministry during the Women With a Mission conference. (a day was cut due to a riot in Adrah Pradesh state. It was all over possession of land! But the threat was so high, the chances of a road block could last for hours if not days.) 

One poignant moment for me during the conference is undeniably when I was tested, during an unexpected moment when I was 'suppose' to lead the Inspirational message toward the finish of the days events. I assumed since I had allowed 2 others to speak in one of my time slots, I didn’t need to stress over having to speak again that day. But, I was still asked to speak. The moment was honestly a bit frustrating as I was given the stern suggestion that I needed to conclude. (Indians can be very blunt and can sound rude, but it’s just the way part of their culture) So, with a smile on my face I leaned into the powerful, Prati (whom I love dearly) and said; “I will do whatever it is you are desiring for me to do, for these women.” 
I began to pray fervently!! haha….. I approached the podium and said; “Open to Genesis 1.” My sidekick buddy Candice thought; “Oh no, she's gonna cover the entire Bible, from Genesis to Revelations”!! I turned to give her the 'look' of….OK, here we go!

But really, the only thing that struck me at that moment was the reassurance that GOD is my everything! He is in my beginning and He will be until the end. I didn't cover the entire Bible, I covered the facts on the genuineness of who He is. He never lets me down and He didn't do so at that very moment. He reigned. I literally sensed this 'bubble' around me. Remember, I was in a realm. From the take off to the landing in Bangalore, back to the USA. 

Though my words could never convey the experience as I lived it. I can tell you, it was an amazing journey. From being asked to speak in a village church the very Sunday after arriving on Saturday. This too was not on the schedule, but I agreed whole heartedly to speak about my favorite subject! The Baptism of the Holy Spirit. (I know my daddy was smiling from ear to ear, as he leaned over the portals of heaven to watch his baby girl.)

Then there was the unexpected stop, at a family's house where I needed to 'relieve myself’ because we were stuck in the van for hours! Our interpreter knew the house and the couple. Amazingly, before leaving the couples house, the homeowner had asked me to pray for he and his wife. John, the interpreter did not interpret as I was praying, he just allowed me to pray. It was not until I got back in the van that John told me that the homeowner specifically hoped and desired that I pray for their finances. John told him; “That is most of what she had prayed for." 

John tells me that this couple had just converted to the Christian faith and he was starting to question this 'God faith' until God in this urgency used me to pray over this home and family. John said; that moment was marked for that man, as he knew quite possibly that God just might be the real thing. A complete stranger from America in need of a potty can still be used by God. I pray for him still. 

I can’t even begin to tell you of the many lives that we physically had the opportunity to touch. Women in both India and Nepal, are desperate for love and prayers and personal edification. WE literally would find ourselves buried in a swarm of women.  If you were to touch just one, to pray for her, the floodgate would open, until you literally could not get out of the mass of precious and desperate women. It’s humbling and it’s also very rewarding to think that maybe you just might have something to say or pray that could change the heart of that person.

My eyes found the saddened eyes of a 21 year old grieving mother who had just lost her son, after watching him slowly die from an enduring sickness. (Actually there was no money for hospital care to save the young boy. It’s just the fate for most in India.) While I was speaking, our eyes met, and it was not the first time, as I seem to have a radar for the wounded. I called her up to the front and began to tell her of the love of God. I told her many things, but what I do remember most is telling her how very much the Lord was shining the light of his love on her as she committed herself to be in the midst of His presence. With tears of pain, coming from her dark brown eyes, I began to cry right along with her. I kept telling her how much she was loved by the Father and how she was not forgotten. (Women in India feel they have no value, most are unwed with children, or abandoned by the men. Almost all of them are abused and many never seem to feel that they will ever be loved.) So, there she stood just a few days after her sons death she came to the conference because her son told her to please not be sad, as he was going to be with Jesus. Then he told her, “Mom, you’ve got to be strong, because you have to make sure all the people in the village make it to heaven so I can see them again.” He had become a little evangelist in his village and had lead many to Jesus.

THe India Gospel League is doing incredible things in the impoverished country of India. 

I did not have even a slight hint of what I would truly be able to experience. In fact, I tried to reason with God, and with former short term mission folks to try and comprehend what I was about to embark on, but nothing can prepare you for tomorrow except what you prepare for, today. 

Last but certainly not least, before leaving the area of Andrah Pradesh, we had one last stop. It was to a little village church where our team was asked to come for the church dedication. When our van arrived at 7:00am in the morning we stood among thirty or more beautiful Indian people. I heard Benny say; "Mrs. Holly Miller will you please come and lead the prayer for the dedication." I said; "Sure"……..I walked to the second step of the bright blue building (they call a Life Center, instead of a church) and began to pray as I lifted my hands to heaven. Then, handed to me on a small rectangular plate full of beautiful flowers petals were a pair of scissors laying on top. Benny then asked me to cut the ribbon which was taped across the front door. (Benny is India Gospel Leagues Missions director) As we entered, Benny again asked me to please come unveil the first of two covered plaques which were set in stone on the walls of the small church. The first plaque was a Thank you, Consortium from Wichita's contributors, and it was etched in black granite. (granite is like a common stone in India, much like our 'concrete'). The second plaque was on the other side of the door. By now, I was becoming a little embarrassed that he was having me do everything. But I just went along with their request. As I pulled the yellow cloth over to the side and began to read the black granite plaque, I suddenly fell to my knees and began to cry. On the plaque it read; "Opened at dedicated by Mrs. HOLLLY MILLER & TEAM, USA.  On August 30, 2013"……..Honestly, I was so humbled and overwhelmed, I could barely pull myself together. Not only did God approve of my name being forever etched, the people of I.G.L also approved and that filled me with complete gratitude. I still get teary today.
As Team India prayed over the young Pastor and his wife and two beautiful boys, all I could picture was my mom and my dad, and all the years they sowed seeds of love into missions. The infiltration of my days in India were settled in my Spirit and I felt like I was floating.  
WE left shortly after the prayer. 
This mission consumed me for 8 long months prior to leaving the USA and I questioned God daily if He approved of my efforts.   
As I sat in the van while we were driving away, I watched those precious people stand in front of their bright blue, humble Life Center and I watched them wave with a grace that is forever etched in my heart like that stone. I sat and shook my head in total gratitude.

As I close in writing this very lengthy reflection,  I am preparing my heart for whatever is next. I wish I could just pick up and go every time my spirit soars to a country in need, (which is often) but that would not only be extreme, it would not be feasible.
GOD, placed me in this particular mission and He is going to place me again, as I know now why I go. Not just because He tells me to, or even ask me to. I go because everything inside of my being cries out to GIVE OF MYSELF, because of HIM. I do not think I can make that much of a difference, but I am certain that if I put myself out there, it just might be the very time that GOD uses me to touch just one life. As you have touched mine.
Thank you!
(Pieces of Nepal news is in the following blog. That mission is full of many supernatural acts of God. It could easily be a manuscript for a book) 

The THARU

People gather around a fire or around the outside kitchen where  the logs of wood burn from a small clay hull in the ground which 'they' call a stove. There is no oven, but there is conversation. There is a lot of conversation, as I have observed from the outside. Life is different. Life to the Tharu is beautiful. They are beautiful.

Little boys actually skip when they run. And they also hold hands out of friendship because of culture. 

I saw four boys playing catch with a ball of nylon string. They probably do not know what a baseball feels like, much less throw one they can actually catch. Instead their 'ball' lands just a foot from the receiver, because it's not a ball at all.

An elderly woman and a little girl were washing dishes and beating clothes on a cement slab outside by a water drawn well. Yes, the kind which is drawn from a bucket and a rope. These two precious Tharu people both took time to smile for my camera. I smiled back. They never looked away, until I was out of sight. Obviously, I didn't look away either.

Little girls jump rope barefoot and small boys climb trees barefoot. In fact, many are barefoot.

I saw many things in one day. Nevermind the little lambs in a pin who loved hearing my sister Rhonda talk her silly animal talk toward them. They baaaaaaa'd really loud when she walked away. But they too, smiled for my camera.

Life in Nepal is simply different. Life in the Tharu village of Nepal is heart changing. 

A beautiful red rooster right outside my screen window woke me up at 4:30 this morning. I laughed as I wanted to yell back at him. But in my grogginess I just went back to sleep only to hear him again, 10 minutes later. You want to know why he was outside my window? He was on a 'leash'.  

I asked about the little ole guy sitting on the ground beating on some grains of rice. I should mention it was harvest time for rice. (Many  workers in the fieldstone with their sickles) The  little guy is Hindu. His 'hut' is just outside the fenced area which is owned by Mohaun's sister, Sushma. 

Mohaun, as Rhonda always speaks of him is the "most powerful Tharu in all of the   people," in her opinion. After meeting him, watching him in so many different settings. I defined him as "all Man".....kind, loving, giving, strong, very strong, handsome and most of all, a servant of the Living God. He exemplifies and personifies power by being nothing but love. Love for His people in the mountains who acknowledge and respect him and the people down in the Armpit of Nepalgung who adore him. Now, I write about him. I feel privileged to know him.

Mohaun's wife died shortly after giving birth to their first son. They name him Derij which actually means Passion, in Nepali. His wife, on her death bed requested him to marry her sister. He did just as she asked. Together they have 2 boys making the 'tribe' even more powerful for the years to come. I am certain, as I type these words that this family will make history which will be known throughout the Tharu people. 

Derij, already possesses his daddy's kind, compassionate heart.  He has his smile (which is almost permanently placed) He also has a love for the drums and for music and he beats those drums with zeal and honor. 

Day one of the conference, I was sitting on the floor in the front of the stage snagging some pictures. I noticed Derij sitting there in the mix with me and I lifted my camera to take his picture. In a synchronised motion we were both taking each others picture. I found him intriguing and I guess being white and blonde, he found the same in me. It was sweet. He is sweet and very well behaved and respected for a 11 year old boy.  

The Tharu could teach us a thing or two, or TEN. 

The Tharu could in fact be known to many in America as the unreached people. Until closely 10 years ago,they were considered unreached. However, 10 years ago, my sister and brother in law stepped foot in a Tharu village as the first Americans to touch their soil. This happened through their personal introduction of the Tharu, by the native Nepali's, KB and Sushila Bassel. 

It's a long and winding road to the Tharu, but once reached, it's heavenly. It's beauty and scenery and it's change of climate are only the surface of the welcoming presence. 

On October 18, 2013, Rhonda and David took their team of 16 and stepped foot into the Tharu  village and in turn they walked into my heart. Before that moment, for me, the Tharu were stories that my sister so passionately has shared with me and others over the past 10 years. Today, I am writing about them right along side my sister, while sitting on an Airplane headed home, for a duration of 24 hours flying time, to have reached the Nepali people. This is the 18th time for Rhonda, and even more for my brother in law David. He's been approximately 21 times and he's already planning to go again February 2014.

Other things I saw while visiting the Tharu, were  located in a house, in the 'town'. This house, needed a bed. All I could picture in my mind while observing this tiny abode was my most valuable and comfortable mattress I get to sleep on, when I go to crawl in bed. (Never mind it wouldn't hardly fit in this "home").....I won't even write about the pit in my my gut right now as I reflect.

A room is interpreted as his Home.  'He', Indradev, a Tharu pastor stood there smiling with humility as he and his family have "rented" this space for nearly 5 years. Baby number two is on it's way, Ruth is going to have a brother, I hope. Dad will need help in the future with his growing church. His first church building was a chicken house conversion and over the period of waiting....he now has an opened aired  brick and mortar church. Now it's not the sort of brick you and I think of in America. His is modestly built. His has no chairs. His is about the size of many mens garages or workshops in their front and back yards. His has bugs and flies and even praying mantas, which one perched itself on my sisters back during the preaching message, on Saturday. Yes, they worship on Saturday. Thankfully, there were ceiling fans, as Rhonda lost her personal fan during one of the many baptisms we got to witness. (850 total) 

The roof of Pastor Indradev's church was metal. Metal, like the sheep's pin. I sat there wondering what the sound would be like when it rained. I wondered a lot as I looked around. 

As I stood in the doorway of Indradev's home, he says to Rhonda and me, "This is very wonderful, isn't it?" I thought to myself; "Is he serious?" The only beauty of the space were the colorful mats which lined the space like 'carpet'. I'm sure a Tharu made them. The other thing I noticed were the 9 clean glasses and pie pan (plates) sitting on a table. Humble, humble abode. 

Indradev is so completely  grateful and not at all presumptuous.  He allows us to stare into this small, approximate  12x14 foot abode and I am fighting back the tears, and stirring my soul on how I can try and make this mans life better, since my $40 a month for the last 8 1/2 years may have helped, but, where? I stood there reflecting on my years of personal blessing, and his years of blessing. The two do not measure on any scale, whatsoever.

Yet, he smiles and shows us the way to the "kitchen, where his pregnant wife, Ramconchie is cooking chicken, over that stove I mentioned earlier. This kitchen is outside, where broken down concrete stairs that lead to know where, suffice for shelving to hold her minuscule kitchen "equipment." The kitchen itself is about 4 1/2 feet tall and the entrance is around 3 1/2 feet high. I bent down to 'walk' inside to make my way to sit by her side, where she's sitting, because there is no standing in this kitchen, unless you bend over. She smiles timidly for my picture. Such humble people. Such beautiful people.  

Pastor Indradev, one of the first young Tharu to Pastor and the youngest to bravely take his village by love and offer to them, Jesus, not just week after week, but day after day. The attendance of his church, spoke volumes, except of course it's rice harvest and many workers were in the fields.

Rhonda tells a story about the time Pastor KB requested Indradev to come to a meeting in Nepalgunj. (it's a 5 hour bus drive from the Tharu village to Nepalgunj) By faith, Indradev took a rickshaw to catch a bus and before he got off the rickshaw, he said; "Lord, where will I get the money to pay this rickshaw driver?" Before he got off the rickshaw, he saw money falling out of the sky and asked the driver to stop and the money he picked up was in the total of 1000 Nepali rupees. (approximately $10.oo) 

To have the faith like the Tharu and the spiritual boldness like them are gifts that few possess. 

After spending time with them, I can say, I could stay among them for a time and still not cultivate what is ingrained on the inside of them. I pray a germinated seed dropped inside of me and is beginning

 to grow as I type this out. 

I do believe they are highly favored by God.  I begin to compare their life against mine and I start to differ when I look at how 'Poor' they seem to be. Then, I realize, they do not know what it is that they need since they have never had it or coveted it. And that alone sounds like I am making excuses for myself and my material lifestyle. I guess I am. They simply use what they have and make the very best of it and then some. I on the other hand......always want more. My gut tells me to remember that  I want more for the ones I say I support. How true is that? I hope to see. 

Mohaun, Indradev, Romcanchie, Sushma, Derij and many many many more, are graced with abundance. "WE" go to bless them and find out that most of what we've got they already have in abundance......which is a deep rich Spirit that thrives from the living God on the inside of them. We are actually the ones that could use their insight. With them, it is not that way, they feel our presence is a gift and they long to welcome us back. In fact, they pleaded. Their words made me cry. 

I assume I will go, again. 

Maybe that seed is starting to take root within me after all. 

My 'blog' from India. August 2013

Endless Days, Enduring Drive, Enamored Devotion

It's MY (Holly) turn to write!

Until now, I have been too captivated by my surroundings to focus on writing and sharing this adventure with you.  But after the endless day yesterday, I have to share.

Since landing in the country of India, the time diffference and lack of sleep have not been a concern for me.  I feel like I have stepped into a whole other realm.  So, let me try and explain.

Rough terrain, hours in a vehicle, and a couple of hours of sleep; to get in a plane for a couple of hours, drive what was supposed to be two hours, ended up to be in the midst of a riot, which delayed our destination and detoured our van down one road which caused us to back up in reverse nearly 6 blocks to get away from that area.  We turned down an alley thinking we could go forward to get out of the riot (fighting over the possible division of the state of Andrha Predesh) realizing the road didn't go through. We nearly hit a man on a scooter when we heard the thud of his hand hit the side of our van.  Our precious pastor, John, who was with us, in his Indian tongue said "so souddy, so souddy (sorry)".  We take another turn into yet another road block.  

At this point, we have been in the van for 4 1/2 hours and I have to pee SO bad that I nearly wet my pants! I even considered using a ziploc baggie as a toilet!  One of our detours ended up in an alley in front of what "HAPPENED" to be the home of recent converts to Christianity.  Pastor John hopped out of the van and went to ask if a couple of us could use their bathroom.  They graciously agreed and we ran to their home.  I took off my shoes at the front door and made my way to the squatty potty, hole in the floor.  On the way out they asked, "would you pree for us?" and pray I did.  

Before I go on, I first have to tell you all of the images that are in my mind as well as my camera, but I want to interpret what I saw from my heart.  It was the boy with the bat that caused my eyes to well with tears after seeing so much filth, dirt, trash, huts, and half-clothed people; rice fields with laborers working diligently for, who knows, wages or maybe a plate of food; and women in sarees walking, some barefoot, some with tattered flip-flops, some with vessels of water sitting desparately on their heads as they make their way to who knows where.  The images brought a flood gate of tears to my eyes in this six hour drive through these many villages and towns before we arrived at our final destination.  My eyes were fixed out my window taking in all that I feel like God wanted me to see.  But it was the boy with the bat...........

On what should have been a two hour drive, I feel that God delayed "the time" once again so that my eyes would open.  "What do you want me to see?", I asked God.  "Besides what is obvious?"  After wearing out a camera battery for the hundreds of pictures I took along the way, then stealing Candy's camera and adding another few hundred, I realized it wasn't about the pictures, it was what penetrated my heart.  These people do not know the difference of what I so commonly take for granted.  First, my love for God because I only have One and not a billion (we saw many temples along the road with creature-like gods).  And second, my simple, common wealth.  I have a washing machine and don't have to beat my clothes along the banks of the river; I buy groceries at a store with a concrete floor instead of a tin roof sitting on 4 sticks to cover the produce picked by the merchant.  I'm blessed.  We're blessed.  

So, about the boy with the bat.  It wasn't a bat at all, at least not like we know.  It was a really fat stick and he was in a muddy, patchy-grassed field with other boys laughing, hitting this ball, and jumping.  Then I realized his stick. He doesn't notice that it doesn't have "value" like those we buy in America, but it does have value to him and his friends as they enjoy their time together.  Even after we drove past, his image sticks in my head and it is still there. I don't know if he loves his life, but I love it that God has placed me here to see that He can bring hope to a nation, a place, to depravation.  Not because of me, not because of the team, but because of Him.  

What if surroundings never change?  But a heart can.  That changes everything.

I have to go get ready now...we begin the conference today.  I am the first to speak and as hundreds of pairs of eyes will stare back at me, I can only pray that God will use me, a willing vessel, to share His words and His love to change a heart.

THE TIDE

I use to live on Grand Lake, right in the heart of Grove Oklahoma at the most enchanting point on Honey Creek side of the lake. When my family and I lived there, my parents owned that resort, with 7 cabins and 3 docks. A boat dock, a swimming dock and a fishing dock. This fond memory and nostalgic place was called Twin Oaks resort. Though I could write a book about my memories there, it is not the reason for this blog.

Instead......I want to talk about the TIDE.

I remember that the banks of the shoreline would either increase because the tides were so low or decrease to the point that there was no bank at all, because the tides were so high.

It's been many many years now that I have been able to keep my eye on the tides of Grand Lake, but I have become aware of the many changes of TIDES in my personal life.

When you are standing on the banks either viewing the water from the edge or at a distance, it is always noticeable that change is or has or will happen. If you have ever been around water.....it is not the water that changes, but rather the shoreline that brings new insight.

I could go so many directions is this thought, but all I actually purposed to do when I began writing this is to remind you that TIDES change. Life changes. People change. But there is ONE who will never change.

This makes me think of my once new and perfect cover on my dearest and treasured Bible. It is about as beat up and used up as any book I have every had or carried. Though I am working on 'recovering' it myself,  the contents of those Words inside will never change. Yes, there are many variations of Gods word in print, but the profound truth of that Word will never be changed. He who created the tides are directly parallel to the many variables of this life. But it is also He who will get your through the changes in the tide.

Though our life is always in motion and our motions are slightly always trying to determine our action, we need to remember one thing as we 'stand on the shore' facing the waters of life...........GO with the TIDE. If the tide takes away your shoreline, then take that moment to enjoy the abundance of water which you long for in the dry and deserted times. 

We never seem to embrace the moment that seems the roughest. We just want it to all change back to the place when it was easiest.

I remember my daddy would have to physically pull the docks in and out after the waters up and went down. There were times that I can remember, there did not seem to be enough cable when the tide was low. I actually wondered if the dock could stand the stretch of distance between the security and the distance to the waters edge........... HANGING ON.

See.....we are doing this thing called life and change all for a purpose. The purpose is not within the urgency to stop the motion and turn back the change, but rather to embrace the change every chance you get and hope that you will witness the next phase of change.
Just try and stop the bickering, and instead appreciate the days you can just stand on the shoreline and find rocks and build 'pretend houses', as I did as a kid and when the rain falls or the dam opens just a little extreme, GO WITH THE TIDE. It is not in your control anyway......it's all in how you see it, stand on it, or swim in it. This is not really about you at all.....it's only about how you get through! Every chance you get, be there for someone else who just can't grasp the changes in the TIDE.  After all.....you know they are going to change. It's inevitable.

Vaccines--Vicks--Vomit

I'm sitting in the waiting area of Walgreens "take care clinic"....anticipating the fact that I am going to get vaccines for my up and coming missionary journey to India. I'm sitting among the Vicks vapor rub and watching the lady, waiting across from me, and thinking she could potentially vomit!

The reality that I am even taking a journey to the other side of the World, to a place I've never even remotely thought I'd go, nor a place where many WANT to go and a place that I understand they wouldn't go again, is quite real for me at this moment.
Reality #1 I wait to get shot with some weird vaccine which prevents me from attracting the very thing they are putting in me.....strange. However, I know that like a child's prayer, I can say; "God is great, God is good, let us Thank Him," for this.....food? 
Oh boy! All I know is, God is calling me to this, therefore the experience of all I have had to do prior to sitting here is even more than I assumed it would be....but it has all been insightful!

Reality # 2 Japanese Encephalitis? Never heard of it till about 2 months ago.
Reality # 3Typhoid? Sounds familiar, but seriously?
Reality # 4Hep A & B.....um....no thanks.

So, I ask you, if you were ever challenged to step outside of your daily routine, your comfortable life, and to put yourself in a position to simply TRUST, not because its easy, but because its a challenge of your choosing, would you do it? And, would you overcome?
This is where my heart is concerning particular things I have had the privilege of overcoming while preparing for this journey. I know this will be one of the greatest experiences of my life, because anything that challenges you, changes you. I like change..

• Challenged in leadership
• Challenged in endurance
• Challenged in relationships
• Challenged in spiritual
• Challenged in these shots!
• Challenged in Fasting
• Challenged in complacency
• Challenged in study (how, what)
• Challenged in eagerness
• Challenged in thinking too much.
• Challenged in my FAITH to trust that God has it all worked out!

Now, don't get me wrong, just because I bare my weaknesses in my challenges, does not mean I am falling! It simply means I am deliberately making a stance to Overcome anything that tries to take me out!

If I were not called to do "this thing" then I might not ever get to do THE VERY THING I was truly called to do, AND accomplish! And I will accomplish this journey.

Well, the lady waiting before me, just came out......I'm up next, for my shots!
I just need to remind the enemy something, before I walk back with the nurse..... I say to him this: "Enemy, if you can't take the heat of my determination, then go torment the MOSQUITO's, cause I am certain you are going to try and take stabs at me in the future, much like you have the past 6 months, but, guess what? By the blood of Jesus and in HIS NAME, I have authority over you, and your pestilence!!! Matthew 28:18--REPEL!! And take that!!!!!"

"Post Ranch versus Missions"

  I have saved a pamphlet for several years now of a 'get away' place located on hwy 1 in Big Sur, California. My thinking, at the time I received this pamphlet in the mail, as requested by me, was far different than my thinking  is today. See, when I tucked it away in my drawer, I thought it could be a place that my husband and I could celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary this coming November.

But, it was January, of this year that fate changed the course, for “Post Ranch Inn”. The pamphlet was never thought about again, until now.
While sitting in the 'toilet' closet, yes, toilet, I looked down and saw the pamphlet in my stash of reading material. I opened it up again, and began to see something throughout it that I did not see several years back. I was only smitten by the photographs..(they still smote me, actually)
The italicized advertisement quotes from the Post Ranch, seemed to convey something a little ironic, as to where I am today.  My heart was directed differently, as I read through the pamphlet again, as if it was the first time I saw it....but this time, there was a different pull, though I know my husband and I could thoroughly enjoy a weekend in the lap of luxury.......but tough to do when feelings are diverse. Below is a touch of the words I read.

“If you have ever dreamed of sleeping on a cloud this may be as close as you can get.” Brilliant magazine.
“Pulse-quickening views, absolute privacy and a Zen-like harmony with the divine surroundings make lovers' hearts leap.” USA Today.

As I read the words that could steal anyone's heart and capture a moment of escape for the powerful sense of retreat, I began to reflect on where my heart has been since January, with this particular invitation, which changed the direction of my thinking for 6 months now..

The invitation was this: In August, I am leading a team of women to INDIA to assist in guiding a Women's conference to the indigenous women of small villages. Their pamphlet, which grabbed my heart strings, did not display anything quite appealing as “Post Ranch Inn" on highway 1, but rather it spoke to me in this tone; “A silent but very positive revolution is going on in India, with a movement called Women with a mission”.
And, I said yes, to this invitation, and with the approval of my husband, Post Ranch Inn became the vague applause of something that might never happen, and it's just OK .

Also, in October, for 15 days, I will be in Nepalgung, Nepal (the 'Armpit' as the locals call it) to celebrate in the 10^th anniversary of the Mission work where my sister Rhonda and her husband David have helped to establish churches and encourage leaders for Christ all through a couple who prayed for 8 years to God, for help.
My sisters first over seas journey to Nepal took place during the introduction and courtship and marriage to my husband Charlie. I married him 6 weeks after the set up. My sister was in Nepal for 3 months and during her trip and my courtship, all the shenanigan's of plans for the 'instant' wedding were taking place without her. Charlie and I didn't wait to unite in marriage before she came home....merely because we were ready to move forward, almost immediately after our first date, which was day two after we met.
I was also afraid my sister would have talked me out of marriage.....after all, she is my sis, shouldn't she question me?!
My sweet sister cried as life began to change for both her and I. I had a sense of certainty that she would one day understand, though I could not explain it at the time. It has come full circle.

“One of the Top Spas in North, America.” Travel + Leisure.
Post Ranch Inn
I love my husband, my dog, my house, life and the beauty of America and all that surrounds my life, and how very blessed I have been to live right where I know God has placed me. Strangely, I have always had a love and sense of desire for California. I am not sure why exactly, but I just like it. Every single time I have visited, I dreamed of its beauty and its song..
But, never did I imagine going to Nepal, much less INDIA. But, much like my 6 week courtship to my husband, 10 years ago, I am never really surprised at what comes into my life.

The accommodations where I will visit, late summer and fall will be nothing compared to the scenes that surround BIG SUR. However, the pulling of my heart strings for the brochure that captivated my heart were more dominate than the power of luxurious consumption. (do not get me wrong...I think it's much needed for most and well deserved!) I could feel the same pull, for India, just as I did when I accepted Charlie's proposal for marriage. "Lets do this." I thought.

Over the last 10 years, my sis has began to see exactly what I knew I could not explain. But as her heart grew for Nepal, my heart grew for serving my husband faithfully and also for ministry toward women. I learned daily about marriage-ministry and missions, and they all have their challenges. But, a heart united towards a new adventure toward love, becomes a team. It's a Spirit of love for the unknown and the unreached and through it, becomes a change.....and that change happened in me.

I began to support my sis, never ever assuming I would travel to the other side of the World. My husband would just smile as I read each and every Newsletter she would write, after 17 ventures to her new found home.
With the compelling words written on the India brochure, and comparing the years and years of photo's and scripts of a newsletter written monthly by my sister,  I took a gulp of tears when I held “Post Ranch Inns” pamphlet, because I knew that over time, my heart was in fact in contrast with my previous ambitions.

I do not know what is waiting for me, with all the THOUSANDS of DOLLARS I have raised in support from others to SEND ME to the other side of the World, but I feel the impact of this journey will change my life as well as the lives of others. This is my hope. This is my desire. This is my enchantment.
India Gospel League You said Go ministries

The italicized ad in the "Post Ranch Inn" pamphlet jolted me with these words:
“Everything is in perfect harmony with nature. Fusing glass, stone, slate, indigenous woods, posh yet rustic with endless views of mountains, redwoods, and sky. -Conde Nast Travelers Gold List

No, that is not the destination I will travel to, and I may not ever get to experience such beauty, conducive to my pleasure. But I do recognize certain traits between the two and I will assume, diversity will be the common factor, as I choose Missions this time versus "Post Ranch Inn.".

With God, everything is in perfect harmony. Fusing glass could only mean the looking glass that reflects our resemblance of hope through the written Word of God. HE is the Stone....He is the Rock and that is where I stand. 'Indigenous' is a word used in the brochure about the women of India. I know that they are hidden from us, here in America, like the beauty we must go in search of, in order to find. Much like the wonders of the woods that bare no resemblance of home, I go. Rustic will be the entire adventure while traversing through the city of Bangalore and through the rough roads of India and Nepal, but I will remember to see the trees for the forest which I will be endlessly viewing, during this eventful and exciting journey. The only 'magical' thing about taking a risk to visit someplace unfamiliar, like India and Nepal, is to assume that all secluded much like Post Ranch Inn, is pretty much just a LEAP of faith.

Considering the Source

What in the World am I thinking?

I started a Vision wall. This means I have placed things in front of my desk, on the wall, which would provoke me to focus on the fact that my life has so much more to offer than my daily routines. 

I placed several framed articles, (fortunately/unfortunately about myself) including my first book and I hung them around a really cool shelf I found at a garage sale, that takes the shape of a lion. On the shelf are pictures of my deceased daddy. In one picture, he is holding his Bible and declaring another Spirit filled powerful sermon, I am certain. 

In my mind, when I look up at my wall, this encourages me to keep pressing forward to try and do the best in my pursuits for reaching the World for the Kingdom of God. My daddy was a preacher and that makes me a PK=Preacher's Kid. For me, it was always an honor and finally, I take it very serious. I've got stuff to do.
  

Probably much like many of 'us'-- our dads may have dealt with us by loving force and with much pleading toward God, to get us to open our eyes to the Truth. I am sure my dad always felt I was not fully living my potential.  I am sure at times I wasn't.
Then there are some dads who are just simply not involved in their children's lives. This was the case with my husband. Because of our polar opposite upbringing it actually has reflected at times negatively on our communication and even our emotional securities. But, with the aid I had been blessed with by being optimistic about life, I must remember I was the more fortunate one in my rearing and 'consider the source.' 
It's a good thing that God has no favor in showing His great love to us, because my husband could be so deep in depression on many occasions because of his upbringing. Instead, he has turned that negative into being a better dad to his own two grown kids, because of his misfortune. He built them a business which my husband has retired from and they now run. It's a good thing my Charlie found Jesus.

For years after my first and only divorce my dear daddy tried to encourage me to focus more on what was important. And with daddy, Jesus was the most important thing. 
It wasn't until the past ten years or so, while in my present marriage that I began truly seeking what I was actually born to do.

I was a hairdresser for 26 years. (still 'do' 3 widows every Friday)

I always wanted to be like a "Dear Abby" in a ministerial sort of way--and help become a mender of broken hearts. 
I had a lot of practice as a hairdresser/counselor. I truly wondered at times if I had a sign hanging outside the front of the Salon--Counselor! On a number of occasions, they just wanted to talk. I listened. I also, 'preached'.

Do you question what it is you are suppose to be doing because you are stuck in a place that you are not motivated or engaged in, with that job/marriage/business or 'calling'?

Well, I encourage you to make up your mind to focus on putting something before you that certainly interest you, but will actually become something that helps someone else, more dominantly than you. It was within the last two years of my ten year solace, because of my divorce, I posted a 5x7 hand written embossed paper on my front door where I could see it every time I went to open and close the door. The inscription were these words, which I wrote: "I want a partnership between equals for the purpose of Spiritual growth." I did not waver in what I knew I needed, and ultimately got what I had envisioned. My husband and I are going into our tenth year of marriage. Has it been a bed of  blooming roses? Of course not, that's why they are ROSES, they've got to have thrones.


Presently: My desire is to give a certain amount of money to a ministry in Honduras and I wrote that amount down on a 9x6 piece of paper and hung it on that Vision wall, with scotch tape and mounted to one of my picture frames. I am hoping soon this vision will happen as it is not esthetically classy to my decor.

I have another paper up on that wall that tells me for sure I am headed in the right direction. 

I've got my sights set on 3 mission trips, one in which I am leading the team, to India. The other two places are Honduras and Nepal. All to be a part of something outside of myself.

Last but not least, I have a very elaborate "thank you" framed from my niece and namesake Holly Knox Brookhouser, and the poignant line in her note to me are the words which encourages me the most, when I cannot seem to care about my 'successes'. A portion of her words written are this; "I am amazed at your open heart".... 
If nothing else on that wall keeps me going besides my sweet daddy who would relish in my journey thus far, is to know that someone is watching me who saw me and hopefully remains to see me with an open heart who wants to 'do' for people as I was privileged to do for her.

See, Visions are all different for various people, and if your Vision is centered to excel in life, maybe you should see it through the eyes of someone who directly believes you are qualified. Remember, through the good and the bad on your way to personal accomplishments in fulfilling your Vision; Consider the Source.