"ETCHED BY GRACE"

As I face the close of this year, I feel it compelling to share this incredible journey of going to the other side of the World......twice, in just 38 days apart from the other.

This letter is not just about me, but rather about how God used you to be one of the greatest and richest blessings in my life, as you were so much a part of my 2013. (You know who you are) Your gift produced much as you blessed me and also touched the two countries I traveled to, simply because you gave. 

I never considered myself a missionary, ever. 

I will not use the cliche’ about being on the field of missions that, “they changed me” though they did effect my life forever. India did not ‘change’ my life, nor did Nepal ‘change’ my life. It was the experience of having to take a hard look at myself while preparing and enduring the eight months 'waiting' once I committed in January to GO, that changed my life.  I had to take a deeper look at obedience toward my Redeemer. I had to completely and totally trust God in every single area, and swallow a whole lot of pride when it came to performance, in uncharted territory. God walked me through every single solitary step.

I told my Bible study group; I feel that the missionaries are not the ones going to the field, but rather we meet the missionaries when we get there. The truest and most faithful people I have ever met are in the most impoverished places, far on the other side of the World leading people to Christ almost daily. “This” missionary is not doing what they are doing, so therefore I feel that though I went to them, they actually led me to what is most important. The importance is people, near and far.

I will never forget the gesture of a somber beautiful woman dressed in a vibrant red sari, with a portion of the shawl covering her head as she was leaning over to sweep the dust from the solid ground. She realized that I was trying to capture her picture so she stopped and she stood up with a graceful pose and smiled with a slight tilt of her head. Then once I captured the shot, she placed her hand over her chest, as she nodded to thank me, for simply taking her picture. The language barrier has no boundaries with love and acceptance.

While in India, I was completely and totally captivated at the sights, around me. The poverty and the riches of spirit, caused a stirring in my heart. Amongst the dirt, the filth, the deficiency and the stanch smell that flows through the entire third world, it did not disgust me for some strange reason, but rather it moved me to tears of Joy that I could be right here, in this very moment.  It placed me in a bubble of ‘awe’. I was encompassed and smitten by every single sight. I was taken into a whole other realm, so much so that I never really noticed until I came home to America. I cried many times within, because of their lifestyle and their culture and most of all their lack. The only thing that mattered to me while I was there, was to touch the souls that I flew across the world to see, and to do my very best to assist and lead the 'team' the Lord put together. We were there to serve. It was an effortless job; we were unified. Five women of diverse lives, with one solid focus, Jesus. We were favorably protected and incredibly used in just 48 short hours of constant ministry during the Women With a Mission conference. (a day was cut due to a riot in Adrah Pradesh state. It was all over possession of land! But the threat was so high, the chances of a road block could last for hours if not days.) 

One poignant moment for me during the conference is undeniably when I was tested, during an unexpected moment when I was 'suppose' to lead the Inspirational message toward the finish of the days events. I assumed since I had allowed 2 others to speak in one of my time slots, I didn’t need to stress over having to speak again that day. But, I was still asked to speak. The moment was honestly a bit frustrating as I was given the stern suggestion that I needed to conclude. (Indians can be very blunt and can sound rude, but it’s just the way part of their culture) So, with a smile on my face I leaned into the powerful, Prati (whom I love dearly) and said; “I will do whatever it is you are desiring for me to do, for these women.” 
I began to pray fervently!! haha….. I approached the podium and said; “Open to Genesis 1.” My sidekick buddy Candice thought; “Oh no, she's gonna cover the entire Bible, from Genesis to Revelations”!! I turned to give her the 'look' of….OK, here we go!

But really, the only thing that struck me at that moment was the reassurance that GOD is my everything! He is in my beginning and He will be until the end. I didn't cover the entire Bible, I covered the facts on the genuineness of who He is. He never lets me down and He didn't do so at that very moment. He reigned. I literally sensed this 'bubble' around me. Remember, I was in a realm. From the take off to the landing in Bangalore, back to the USA. 

Though my words could never convey the experience as I lived it. I can tell you, it was an amazing journey. From being asked to speak in a village church the very Sunday after arriving on Saturday. This too was not on the schedule, but I agreed whole heartedly to speak about my favorite subject! The Baptism of the Holy Spirit. (I know my daddy was smiling from ear to ear, as he leaned over the portals of heaven to watch his baby girl.)

Then there was the unexpected stop, at a family's house where I needed to 'relieve myself’ because we were stuck in the van for hours! Our interpreter knew the house and the couple. Amazingly, before leaving the couples house, the homeowner had asked me to pray for he and his wife. John, the interpreter did not interpret as I was praying, he just allowed me to pray. It was not until I got back in the van that John told me that the homeowner specifically hoped and desired that I pray for their finances. John told him; “That is most of what she had prayed for." 

John tells me that this couple had just converted to the Christian faith and he was starting to question this 'God faith' until God in this urgency used me to pray over this home and family. John said; that moment was marked for that man, as he knew quite possibly that God just might be the real thing. A complete stranger from America in need of a potty can still be used by God. I pray for him still. 

I can’t even begin to tell you of the many lives that we physically had the opportunity to touch. Women in both India and Nepal, are desperate for love and prayers and personal edification. WE literally would find ourselves buried in a swarm of women.  If you were to touch just one, to pray for her, the floodgate would open, until you literally could not get out of the mass of precious and desperate women. It’s humbling and it’s also very rewarding to think that maybe you just might have something to say or pray that could change the heart of that person.

My eyes found the saddened eyes of a 21 year old grieving mother who had just lost her son, after watching him slowly die from an enduring sickness. (Actually there was no money for hospital care to save the young boy. It’s just the fate for most in India.) While I was speaking, our eyes met, and it was not the first time, as I seem to have a radar for the wounded. I called her up to the front and began to tell her of the love of God. I told her many things, but what I do remember most is telling her how very much the Lord was shining the light of his love on her as she committed herself to be in the midst of His presence. With tears of pain, coming from her dark brown eyes, I began to cry right along with her. I kept telling her how much she was loved by the Father and how she was not forgotten. (Women in India feel they have no value, most are unwed with children, or abandoned by the men. Almost all of them are abused and many never seem to feel that they will ever be loved.) So, there she stood just a few days after her sons death she came to the conference because her son told her to please not be sad, as he was going to be with Jesus. Then he told her, “Mom, you’ve got to be strong, because you have to make sure all the people in the village make it to heaven so I can see them again.” He had become a little evangelist in his village and had lead many to Jesus.

THe India Gospel League is doing incredible things in the impoverished country of India. 

I did not have even a slight hint of what I would truly be able to experience. In fact, I tried to reason with God, and with former short term mission folks to try and comprehend what I was about to embark on, but nothing can prepare you for tomorrow except what you prepare for, today. 

Last but certainly not least, before leaving the area of Andrah Pradesh, we had one last stop. It was to a little village church where our team was asked to come for the church dedication. When our van arrived at 7:00am in the morning we stood among thirty or more beautiful Indian people. I heard Benny say; "Mrs. Holly Miller will you please come and lead the prayer for the dedication." I said; "Sure"……..I walked to the second step of the bright blue building (they call a Life Center, instead of a church) and began to pray as I lifted my hands to heaven. Then, handed to me on a small rectangular plate full of beautiful flowers petals were a pair of scissors laying on top. Benny then asked me to cut the ribbon which was taped across the front door. (Benny is India Gospel Leagues Missions director) As we entered, Benny again asked me to please come unveil the first of two covered plaques which were set in stone on the walls of the small church. The first plaque was a Thank you, Consortium from Wichita's contributors, and it was etched in black granite. (granite is like a common stone in India, much like our 'concrete'). The second plaque was on the other side of the door. By now, I was becoming a little embarrassed that he was having me do everything. But I just went along with their request. As I pulled the yellow cloth over to the side and began to read the black granite plaque, I suddenly fell to my knees and began to cry. On the plaque it read; "Opened at dedicated by Mrs. HOLLLY MILLER & TEAM, USA.  On August 30, 2013"……..Honestly, I was so humbled and overwhelmed, I could barely pull myself together. Not only did God approve of my name being forever etched, the people of I.G.L also approved and that filled me with complete gratitude. I still get teary today.
As Team India prayed over the young Pastor and his wife and two beautiful boys, all I could picture was my mom and my dad, and all the years they sowed seeds of love into missions. The infiltration of my days in India were settled in my Spirit and I felt like I was floating.  
WE left shortly after the prayer. 
This mission consumed me for 8 long months prior to leaving the USA and I questioned God daily if He approved of my efforts.   
As I sat in the van while we were driving away, I watched those precious people stand in front of their bright blue, humble Life Center and I watched them wave with a grace that is forever etched in my heart like that stone. I sat and shook my head in total gratitude.

As I close in writing this very lengthy reflection,  I am preparing my heart for whatever is next. I wish I could just pick up and go every time my spirit soars to a country in need, (which is often) but that would not only be extreme, it would not be feasible.
GOD, placed me in this particular mission and He is going to place me again, as I know now why I go. Not just because He tells me to, or even ask me to. I go because everything inside of my being cries out to GIVE OF MYSELF, because of HIM. I do not think I can make that much of a difference, but I am certain that if I put myself out there, it just might be the very time that GOD uses me to touch just one life. As you have touched mine.
Thank you!
(Pieces of Nepal news is in the following blog. That mission is full of many supernatural acts of God. It could easily be a manuscript for a book)