I have been a hairdresser for over 35 years and I have to admit a very decent one. Unfortunately, I am also very much a giver. The combination is not a good match if you want to use your profession as a way to simply please everyone, .....except yourself. Though I am a giver, it was always hard to separate my giving with the value of my business. I have witnessed and I believe the ambition that drives us at times to be good, is so that we will be compensated for our future. This is where the bad combination for a giver, as a hairdresser is in contrast to that way of thinking.
Shall I give you an example? I have been doing a ladies hair, weekly in my basement for the 13 years I have been retired. She was my first client 14 years prior. I am still charging her the same prices I charged when I was in the Salon.
Fault number one: When I said yes to continue to do her hair, I never set a precedence. But she knew, the person I always was in the Salon, remains to be the person I am to this day, a giver.
I was very fair, yet competitive with prices, but I was over booked and had less of an income than that of those who charged more and worked less. Why? Because I am a giver. I am the type of person that would live on less while others stepped on me to get exactly what they needed to reach the top of their expectation of me. I AM NOT BRAGGING, I am telling you my greatest gift was a fault if I was going to truly bless others in my future.
We are not to give ALL unless it's God telling us to give it. So, why not be the recipient of compensation from the person wanting something greater from me, like my time and my talent? I don't know, I never valued my worth until I realized it was being taken advantage of, I guess.
The 'golden rule' was taken from a scripture in Luke, which that verse doesn't apply to people that covet something that belongs to another. (even if they covet your talent to be landed on their head! lol) This is the lesson I have had a hard time applying to my life. I gave so many times, because I had the talent to give and the person wanted what I had to give, for themselves. That is not what the 'golden rule' means. Or, it is not what Luke 6:31 means. A great and long lesson I am learning.
This awareness has caused me to write.
Good hairdressers are hard to find. I know many of you reading this would agree, I hear it all the time! I have many, who still beg me to do their hair after my retirement. But, I'm staying retired, mostly because my time would be more expensive than my talent and though I know there are those who have offered to give me that huge amount to 'do' for them, I like my space. (but may consider it since I feel this whole thought, in this writing has enlightened me to the fact that maybe God is trying to tell me that the money I have been believing him for is right in MY HANDS with my ability to 'do' hair. But first I would need to establish and value my worth.)
I have a handful of elderly women who won't let me go for nothing. They are affluent and they can afford the top dollar salons in Wichita, but they choose to come to my unfinished "Steal Magnolia" salon to have me coif their hair.
After my retirement from the hair salon, I knew the only way I would have any 'extra' income is to do the very few I do, in order to keep some petty cash in my purse and also another way of adding money to the ministry I now try to run by faith, when quite possibly all this time it could have benefited through compensation through my talent.
The big projects or special events that have allowed me to make a decent amount of money, in one lump sum is always great and appreciated!(I have thought many times, If I could do a couple of those a month, I'd easily have a plane ticket paid to get me back to the country of Honduras.)
I just do not want to be bound to any more repeats of weekly clients or monthly appointments from referrals of such events. I'm to busy in my ministry for that.
But heres the kicker. I am at fault a giver, because I have never set the standard for my worth in the gift I give through my talent. (in the salon, it was different, I set prices I needed. With retirement, I now do it for the extra money, period.) And from that money, I G I V E!! But I cannot give from nothing, which is why Luke 6:31 is NOT telling us to give to the one looking to us to give, that's either from greed, lack of responsibility to save, or sheer coveting, but rather Give because God has asked you to give.
Unfortunately, you can't give monetarily where there is not money to give from. This means I place a standard on the value of my talent and ability and charge! Without question or without vagueness.
Givers are a gift from God. Things taken for free, is something I want to teach you about because I am in the service business. If the service is something that you have asked for and you are asking from a giving person, then I strongly suggest to discern where this 'gift' was given, before your walk away with all that you were asking for in the initial set up. I am not speaking of GREED on the hairdressers part, I am thinking more about coveting on the recipients part. (Luke 6:31)
The FAULT lies in the hand of the talent, for not establishing the value, FIRST.
Takers are blessed by the givers. Matchers are always keeping tabs on what they give so that it can be matched for return. (Bless their hearts.)
So, I say this to myself and to you, since you have read this far, If you are a giver then don't take from what you want, give from what you have been given, or have worked for to earn that gift to give from.
To be more blunt, don't take from what was not offered as a gift or what you feel was a barter to get what you actually wanted. You just robbed from your own giving and you just became a 'don't do' on the list of the hairdresser.
One knows when a gift is given, but I can tell you for certain, a giver with the talent will not put a price on something you can so easily take without asking.
The question to ask is this; "How much can I give to you for your talent?" If the answer is "oh, it's ok" And you give nothing after knowing you got what you needed, then be aware that you have read this blog. You will never win in the end. E V E R. You are either marked, or you have not learned the value of the gift giver. All gifts are not wrapped in bows. Some are given out of take. God help me that I NEVER get on that list.
From now on, my TALENT/BUSINESS will have a value and a worth because God gave me my gift to bless and be a blessing. And through these harsh sentiments, please know I give my talent, not just money! I am a giver!
But I cannot be the one who suffers anymore when I find myself praying and asking God for provision and it's been there all along. Much like the guy on the roof, in the flood. God sent a boat and a airplane for him to get on, to save him, and instead he said he was going to stay and trust God..........
I trust him, and I will use my talent for his return of the blessing. I want to live to OUT GIVE, but please GOD, help me to set my standard where you see my worth and not allow people to take advantage of my gift.
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